Happy Birthday Jess

Today is my big sister’s birthday. It also happens to be my mom’s birthday as well. It can be a hard day for my sister. When my mom passed away my sister was seven. She still has memories of my mom which makes it more painful for her. Especially on September 29th. So this is my message to my beloved sister.

It is healthy to grieve. When something is sad, traumatic, it is important to get through the feelings. Feel whatever needs to be felt. Cry. Scream. Pray. I’ve dealt with so many issues the wrong way. By stuffing the emotions. Brushing them aside. Telling myself to get over it. But that only magnifies things. It doesn’t let the wounds heal. Sometimes the best thing is to let my guard down. Be vulnerable in the moment. Go through the catharsis. Let it happen. Write something. Put it all down. That’s the best advice I can give you Jess.

Also know that you are loved. Let yourself celebrate another year on this earth. If there’s one thing we learned this year or so is that everyday is not promised. Everyday on this earth is a gift. A blessing. So enjoy your family. Hug and kiss your children. Your husband. Bask in the achievements. The goals accomplished. The blessings that the Lord has bestowed. The wonderful people you have in your life. The material things that don’t make us but add texture and comfort to our life.

Take a bath. Go for a walk. Get a massage. Watch a nice, inspirational movie. Treat yourself to some really tasty food. Your favorite. Something sweet. Some boba or froyo. Why not? It’s your BIRTHDAY! You can treat yourself one day out of the year. Indulge.

Grieve. Then celebrate. Indulge in self-care. After caring for others so much the other 364 days, love yourself today. You deserve it. For being an amazing sister. Mother. Friend. Nurse. Wellness advocate. Student. Human being. Child of God.

Lastly, thank you. Thank you, thank you, for your outpouring of love and care. You’ve never given up on me. You always cheer me on. Support me in my endeavors. Hold me accountable. Lend an ear. Give me a nuanced perspective. Mom is with the Lord. But she lives on in you. Your steadfast care for me is the greatest testimony of this fact.

I love you Jess. Mom loves you. The Lord loves you. Everyone who has known you for more than five minutes loves you. Love yourself. Happy birthday.