Short circuit

Tray of drinks in one hand. A to-go order bag hanging from my finger. As I move, the weight of the bag shifts the balance of the drinks. I am wearing a Diet Pepsi.

My receipts are soaked. My handheld tablet for taking orders is wet as well. Not again. A similar thing happened a week ago. I poured a whole container of sweet tea all over myself. I fried the tablet last time too.

Both times it was near closing. Exhausted after a double shift. Trying to carry more than my body wanted to. When I brought it to my manager’s attention I asked for mercy. The GM won’t be happy. Those tablets cost $1500 each.

Oh Lord. One broken waterlogged tablet is an honest mistake. Two in one week is too costly to ignore. Best case scenario I’ll get a stern warning. Maybe a write-up. Worst case my job could be in jeopardy.

And things were going so well. I had just made more money in one shift than I would have made in one week working 40 hours at Starbucks.

When I arrived home I went to plug in my ankle monitor. The magnet hooked up but the indicator light didn’t turn on. Strange. I unplug and plug it back in. Nothing. No not this one too.

Thoughts go through my head. I need to contact my lawyer. I should call the 24 hour helpline on the charger. God, I can’t go to jail over this. Not right now.

Then I look closely. Something got stuck to the magnet. A staple. I pull it out. A little spark flickers. Then the green indicator light turns on. Phew. That was a close one.

Another reminder. Sometimes I push too hard. Move too fast. Make costly errors. Don’t pay attention. When that happens I run the risk of short-circuiting my recovery. Something I cannot afford to do. I have too much to lose. If I’m doing this during my work shift I can see myself doing the same thing with my upcoming passion projects. Note to self: slow down.

I should take a break next time instead of wearing myself out. Sit down for awhile. Have some food. Breathe. Meditate. Pray.

I’m bracing myself for the next time I face my GM. But like everything else I give it to God. If I make it through this mini-crisis I’ll need to do a better job of self-care next time.